Holidays-Jokes Text

Holidays Jokes

A lady walks into a tattoo parlor and asks the artist if she can get two tattoos. 

The artist says, "Sure." 

She tells him that on her left inner thigh she would like a turkey, and beneath it sh

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Holidays Jokes

- Go buy a turkey
- Take a drink of whiskey (scotch) OR JD
- Put turkey in the oven
- Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
- Set the degree at 375 ovens
- Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
- Turn oven t

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Holidays Jokes

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend yo

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Holidays Jokes

One Halloween this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl, with golden blond curly hair and the biggest blue eyes. 

She was dressed as an Angel, and was just delightful. The wom

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Holidays Jokes

One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys 

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Holidays Jokes

As a little boy climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" 

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, "Didn't you 

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Holidays Jokes

Do you know what would have happened if it had been Three Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men?

They would have asked directions,

arrived on time,

helped deliver the baby,

cleaned the stab

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Holidays Jokes

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

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